Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. – 1 Peter 3:7 ESV
If a man is not considerate and respectful to his wife, his prayers will be hindered because a living relationship with God depends on right relationships with others. Jesus said that if you have a problem with another believer that you must make it right with that person before coming to worship (Matt 5:23-24). This principal carries over to within families as well.
Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect – 1 Timothy 3:2-4
These verses talk about the qualifications to be an overseer in the church. The point that I want to make from this text is that it is important the house of that man is in order before they aspire to be a leader in the church. These character traits apply in the home as well as in church leadership.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. – Ephesians 5:25-30
Paul uses twice as many words to tell husbands to love their wives as to telling wives to be subject to their husbands. How should a man love his wife.
No woman needs to fear submitting to a man like this.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. – Ephesians 4:31-32
This is the law of forgiveness as taught in the Gospels and we also say it in the Lords Prayer. God does not forgive us because we forgive others, he forgives us because out of His grace and mercy. Its out of understanding his great mercy that we feel the need to be forgiving of others having ourselves been forgiven.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4
The purpose of parental discipline is to help children grow, not to provoke them to anger or discouragement. Parenting is not easy and it takes lots of patience to raise children in a loving, Christ-honoring way. And Fathers play a very important role in both for their sons and daughters futures. Their sons look at their fathers as the example and daughters see how their father acts and will look for a man like that to marry to when they get older.
“Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” – Joshua 24-14-15
As men of God, you will have to take up the role in your household to ensure that the rest of the household follows Godly principles. In taking a definite stand for the Lord Joshua displayed spiritual leadership. Regardless what others thought Joshua made a stand and set the example to follow. This is how men should lead their household.
When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. “Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. – John 13:12-15
Jesus did not wash his disciples feet just to get them to be nice to each other. His greater goal was to show them how they must serve God, serve each others and all people they took the message of salvation to. Likewise, men in their households are to serve their families.
Similarly, encourage the young men to be self-controlled. In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us. – Titus 2:6-8
This advise given to young men was very important. Husbands and fathers who are good examples of Christian living are important role models for young men who need to see how its done. Paul urged Titus to be a good example to those around him so that others might see and imitate him.
Women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church. – 1 Corinthians 14:34-35
This verse does not mean that women shouldn’t pray, prophesy or be leaders in the church today, because clearly in 1 Corinthians 11:5 woman were clearly doing that. But what this verse is saying is that if woman have questions that they should ask their husbands at home. The role of grooming the family is on the shoulders of the men. It’s a huge responsibility. But by the woman asking the questions at home, it gives an opportunity to extend the discussion in a more intimate and meaningful setting with your family. This can serve as devotional time lead by the fathers. It also keeps the men accountable to paying attention to the message in church and doing their own self-study on the topic.