We can learn a lot from the creation story. What I’m going to focus on is the interaction between God and Adam before Eve was created. My hope is them men will learn what are some of the prerequisites before you get married.

1. Adam Had a Job

I think this is self explanatory but God gave Adam a job before he created Eve. Adams job was to keep and cultivate the garden. The garden produced food for him to eat. How are you going to be a provider for you wife and future family? Having a stable job is necessary even while you are dating. How will you be able to go out on any dates to get to know your potential future wife more? In North America (and in other areas in the world) it can get quite costly to go out anywhere to have a social time with someone. But to summarize this point. You need to be employed and have a steady income before you begin your search for a wife.

2. Adam Served in a Ministry

We see God working with Adam to name all the animals. This is ministry. As God created, Adam participated and did his part so that Gods plans would continue me to pass. Serving in a church ministry can be defined as giving your talents, ability and time to assist the advancement of Gods plans. This is what Adam was doing when he was naming the animals. This is very important to you because serving in ministry also helps you to identify your calling and secure your identity. You are able to find out who you are and who you are not and this is important is determine which woman will be able to fit into your life as your wife.

3. Adam Knew What Would Complement Him

God know that Adam needed help before he started to bring the animals for him to name. The question I asked is, “why didn’t God just make Eve then instead of going through the process of naming the animals?” My opinion is that God had to show Adam what would not fit or complement him so that when he saw Eve Adam would know that she will complement him. This is what I call Gods heavenly physiology. By Adam seeing how different all these animals were from him he was able to see Eve immediately and know that she would be his help meet. The takeaway for this point is, sometimes you may have to go through some bad relationships so that when you meet the right woman you will know that this is the woman that God has prepared for you.

My hope is that, if you desire to be married, when you see your future wife for the first time that you will know in your spirit and say “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” Which is what Adam said the first time he seen Eve. If you feel like this would encourage or teach some other man please share it.

Remember to subscribe and be blessed.

All relationships require work if you intend for it to grow. Anything that is not growing is not alive. I’m hoping that you are reading this because you intend for your marriage to grow and evolve into a fruitful garden. As men, most of the responsibility in the marriage are to be initiated by us. We are to take the first step.  The parallel is made in the bible that we should love our wives as Christ loves the church and game himself up for her.  We are to love our wives using Chris as the example. Also, just in case any of you men didn’t know this, Our wives love us because we first loved them. See 1 John 4:19 about that one.

So I am going to list a few items here to help you bring the best out of your wife.  She should become a fruitful vine with your help.

Pray for your Wife

1 Corinthians 11:3 says that the head of the woman is the man.  What this means is that the man is accountable to God for his wife spiritual well being, Jesus said that Men should always Pray. Pray for your wife during your quite time and come together and lead prayer with your wife. Doing this will not only strengthen your prayer life but your marriage also.  Pray for her joy that it would remain full. Pray that God will protect her from spiritual attacks. Pray for her self esteem. Pray for her daily task and challenges that she may have to face in the home or at work.  Pray that God will help her in every possible way and pray that God will work through you to in answering those prayers.

Serve Your Wife

I know that Acts of Service is one of the 5 love languages and it may not be your wife’s primary love language, But Serving is a spiritual discipline that the head of the house is responsible for.  Remember We are to love our wives as Chris loves the church.  Jesus came to serve. So we to should have the attitude of a servant to our wives.  Read Matthew 20:28 and think about the different ways that you can serve your wife? Some thought starters are , offering to cook the dinner every once and a while. Getting the kids ready for bed so she can get some rest herself… and so on.  Think about what sacrifice you can make so that it goes easier for her.

Listen to Your Wife

This falls along the lines of communication and Quality Time Love language. Ask your wife what is on her heart? What excites or troubles her?  Find out what she dreams about? Most woman crave for this type of intimacy with their husbands. When you are in the car driving, Instead of listening to the latest sports debate radio show, have a conversation with your wife.  Ask her some open ended questions and when she answers, probe with more questions to get deeper. Now, PLEASE REMEMBER, this is not an interrogation. Your questions shouldn’t make her feel like she is on the spot.  Just make conversation, and when you hit something that is passionate to her, stay on that topic. If you do this you will be surprised at what you will learn about your wife.

Support and Encourage Your Wife

When you find out your wife’s passion or dreams, its your responsibly to help her achieve it. Your words of encouragement and support can go a long way. The support can be financially, It can be in guidance or advice. It could be just watching the kids while she goes out and does what she needs to do.  Just support.

A helpful article that I wrote was on the Five Love Languages.  You can read that article here. Be blessed as you work on making your wife turn into a fruitful vine.  If you know anyone who would like to read this post, please share with them.  Don’t forget you subscribe.

Blessings.

1. Acts of Service
2. Quality Time
3. Physical Touch
4. Words of Affirmation
5. Giving Gifts

1.  Acts of Service

‭2. Quality Time

3. Physical Touch

4.  Words of Affirmation

5.  Giving Gifts

If your reading this you made it!! It’s 2018 and it’s the beginning of a new year. For most people this is the time when they make New Years resolutions about what they hope to achieve this year… only to break them in two or three months and fall back into old routines. But this year it’s time to move to the next level and stay there by the grace of God.

On this site there are a few things that I focus on. Those things are; business success, personal/spiritual life & relationships. I’m hoping that you will reach new levels in all these areas and more. What I can say is the key to reaching the next level is to put some emotions behind what you want to accomplish. If you really want something and willing to invest some emotions to accomplishing it then it will fuel you to push past the dry times when you feel like giving up. Set some goals in your life that would make you jump for joy in amazement once you accomplish them.

Next Level in your Spiritual Life

– regardless of where you are spiritually, there is another level to go to with God. The Word of God is so powerful regardless of how many times you read a verse, there can be something new you can receive out of it.
– Move out of your spiritual comfort zone. God wants to take you higher in your service in his family.

Next Level in your Business

– Decide on how much more revenue you want your business to bring in this year.
– Then put a plan in place to get it.
– Execute your plan… Make it happen!

Next Level Personally

– be sure to set some personal goals that can probably ah you into a new level in your life. I like to go back to that book called “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. It’s one of the best books that I’ve come across. If you read it before, read it again. Apply some of those principles from that book into your life and see the new level of results that you will achieve.

Next Level in your Relationships

– if your not in a relationship, what do you need to do to be ready for one? If you are, then what do you need to learn about manhood to move to the next stage?
– If you are married, have a conversation with your wife to see how you both can move to the next level where you both would experience heaven in your marriage.

All together, New Years are exciting and bring hope. Learn as much as you can so that you can grow this year. You don’t want to be in the same place in December 2018 as you are in January. Create a plan for the areas in your life that you want to change and keep emotionally connected to the result.

I’m praying that you will have an successful and blessed year. I will expand on the sections mentioned above in the next four weeks.  If you have any testimonies of past goals from previous years that you want to leave in the comments please do. Remember to subscribe and share this post with someone that you think this would encourage.

Be blessed and with Gods help let’s CRUSH OUR GOALS IN 2018.

Ministries that you Serve

Service in any area of your church ministry will come with its additional responsibilities and some are more demanding than others. It’s important to consider all aspects of the ministries that you serve in. Some aspects are time away from home, long distance travel, and other people that you may interact with. An example is if your girlfriend/fiancé’s love language is quality time and you know that you calling is to become an overseas missionary then this would put some strain on the relationship (if she doesn’t have the desire to go with you). Another example is if you serve in the worship ministry in your church. Know that there is huge time commitment weekly and that worship music may be continually playing in your home. Think along these lines and think about how you doing what you were called to do can be frustrating to your partner.

Family & Children

Both of you should be on the same page when it comes to children. Do you both want children? Are you in agreement on how many children you want to try to have? Do you agree with ways to discipline your children? This is one of the biggest challenges for marriages because it is a huge adjustment and can be an emotionally and physically draining time for new parents. The important aspect that needs to be discussed is if you are both in agreement in what you want your family to look like and that you are willing to do the work that is required. This could be a deal breaker if your views are not aligned before you get married but this has to be discussed at some point.

Finances

This is one of the biggest pieces of the puzzle. The management of household finances causes the most arguments within relationships. Questions to discuss are how you will approach major purchases (house, car, etc.) Often times it’s not the lack of money that causes arguments, but the mismanagement of money that causes divisions. Also, if one person in the relationship feels like they always have to put off something they want to purchase for the other persons wants.

Personal Habits

Before you take the next step into marriage you want to be able to evaluate the person you are going to say “I do“ to so that you can evaluate their personal habits. The only way to do this is by spending time with that person. In the beginning of any relationship, regardless of how hard we try, we always put our best foot forward and don’t show who we really are. Only after time when you begin to get comfortable with that person that you really see who they really are. When pressure situations come about you will see their true character and know if it’s something that you can live with or not.

To sum up this post, the most important thing that will help you determine compatibility is time. Take your time and don’t rush into anything without objectively evaluating your decisions. Make sure that you have someone that you can go to for some objective advise. Don’t get too emotionally involved with this person… If you do it may be hard to hear what the voice of God is saying to you. Finally, do not be sexually intimate with your partner as well. Sex is a gift from God and it will bless you when you keep Gods rules about it and save it for marriage. There are many compatibility quizzes online that you can take. It would also be beneficial that you do some sort of premarital counseling with a pastor or Christian counselor before getting married.

If this blessed you please share it with someone else using the share buttons below. Leave a comment if there is something that you think should be added. Be blessed.

Agreement is one of the most powerful things in the world and when two people are in agreement life just that much easier. A marriage relationship is already complex and one of the hardest stages of life to go through, now think if you are unequally yoked with someone for the rest of your life.

Why would God say not to be unequally yoked?

It will be hard for you to feel spiritual fulfilled if you are unequally yoked. Both men and women have different spiritual responsibilities in a relationship and each person can either be a blessing to their spouse or not. The only way for a Christian marriage to walk in the blessing that God intended is if both Husband and Wife are playing their part as Christians submitted to God. God can work through your spouse to meet many of your needs from relationship. If you are married (of thinking of getting married) to a non-Christian, that person is already not submitted to God. As a result it will be impossible for them to be able to hear from God so they can meet a spiritual need for you in that relationship.

How will you worship at home?

If you grew up in a Christian household and you are used to listening to Worship songs through your house daily how do you think a non-Christian would react? They would either accept it and in time get tired of it… or play their own worldly music and expect there to be no conflict. They might also tell you to cut it off or something else. The point I’m making is that it will create another area for potential conflict. Think about Spiritual holidays and family traditions that have been passed down to you from your parents and grand parents. What will you pass down to your children? A strong Christian foundation or a secular world view.

God’s Purpose for families.

One of the primary things that God uses to advance His plans for n the earth is families. Families are the backbone of society and when the family structure is strong, then the community is strong. Being unequally affects the basic structure and unity of the family. When it comes time for family devotion or prayer, what will happen when Mom or dad doesn’t pray to the same God? The children will get confused. God is not the author of confusion. If the next generation is confused about who God is or if they don’t know God for themselves, then those parents missed an opportunity to train us their child in the ways of God.

Just to wrap this up, if your in a relationship with a non-Christian or thinking about it, I would like to urge you to reconsider and make the right decision. A marriage relationship is hard enough when both husband and wife are Christians. Missionary dating doesn’t work either. This is dating a non-Christian hoping to convert them so that you can stay with them. That’s just asking for trouble. Your emotions can also get in the way of your good judgement. Don’t fall head over heals for someone who does not love Jesus. Don’t  make it harder on yourself by getting into a relationship with a non-Christian.  I’ll share more next week about compatibility in Christian relationships.  Subscribe to be notified

Leave a comment if you have any other thoughts to add. Share this with one of your friends that need to her it. You can also post it on social media with one click using the buttons below.

Before God created Eve, Adam only had a relationship with God. It was through this relationship that Adam learned who he was. What his job was. And what was compatible for him. God allows us to go through this phase as men for the same reasons today.

Know Who God Is

It was only Adam and God in the beginning. God made Adam in his own image and likeness. God knew that… But did Adam know it? Alone time with God give you the ability to seek the face of God to understand who He is and his character. As you spend time in fellowship with God and the Holy Spirit, you will eventually see that your character will change to be like God. You will see Him as he is and start to resemble And operate in His likeness. Example of this is when God created the world He spoke… and then that’s what was created. God called something the sky and the. That’s what it became. In Genesis‬ ‭2:19‬ ‭NIV‬‬ God brought the animals to Adam for him to give them their names. Once Adam called its name that’s what they are called to this very day. This is an example of Adam operating in the likeness of God. Likewise, God wants to teach young men how to speak like Him and the best time for that to be thought is when you are in that alone phase in your life with God.

Know Who You Are

Another part that is vital in the alone phase with God is knowing who you are. With this I am talking about your service onto God. During this time you should be devoted to the purposes of God and serving in his church. Again, free from most responsibilities, you should be able to devote a large amount of your time to serving His purposes. Adam kept the garden, named the animals and also had fellowship with God. This all caused Adam to grow and learn his spiritual gifts and callings. It’s during this time that you should find out what your primary ministry is, and begin to serve in a greater capacity in your church.

Know Your Job

In Genesis‬ ‭2:5-8‬ ‭NIV‬‬ we see that God gave Adam a job. This was something for Adam to do so that he could provide for his future wife and family. During the alone phase with God, be on the lookout to what work that God wants you to do. This work is necessary for the future growth of development of your environment and also will cause you to be satisfied by its results. In my opinion, I believe it is wrong to be unemployed but wanting to find a woman to marry. That order is wrong. In addition to only having one job, God would also want to bless you with multiple streams of income. There is no better time than when you are single and alone with God to do this. Once your wife and eventually kids come into your life, then your time can get occupied in a hurry. Alone time with God can give you some great ideas that you can grow and possible turn into a passive source of income later on in life. So look to be working during your alone time with God before you get married.
Now please done misunderstand me. I’m not saying that you are only to go to work, church and back home. Please have a life and do some fun things. There’s plenty that you can do without sinning. God gave us this life to enjoy so try you best to make the most out of every moment and find enjoyment in everything that you do. What you will find is that through your ministry that you serve in, you mill meet and be connected with other like-minded Christians who will grow with you. It’s not a coincidence. Gods word says that the steps of the righteous are ordered by Him. As you wholeheartedly devote yourself to serving God you might even see that He is preparing your spouse in the same ministry. God just does things like that some times.

If you have any comments please leave them below. Share the article with anyone who you think would be blessed by it.

Be blessed.

If those lyrics or that song hurts your feelings or makes you angry please keep reading.  I’m going to help you better position your life.  The point I’m trying to make is that this song was so on point with the steps that every man needs to take before he should even think about trying to find a woman to marry. Furthermore, I don’t believe that any young man should be an an exclusive dating relationship until he is ready to find a wife.  (I’ll talk more about that later)

The below steps are my own that I believe every young man should be thinking about before starting any relationship.

Personal Relationship with God

This is the first step. As a Christian you first need to know what God says about you and what you were called to do.  If you have not committed yourself to attending a church and serving in a ministry in that church I would consider you as not ready.  The reason why this is first is because it speaks to your heart condition towards God.  Are you committed to seeking and serving His purposes?  In addition to that, you can also find out more about your God given gifts and callings that can assist in helping determine the type of woman you should look for. (Trust me on that one).  By understanding your gifts and callings better you are able to put yourself to where you need to be to walk in Gods perfect will for your life.  As you walk in Gods perfect will you then put the responsibility of finding the woman of your dreams on God to bring to you.   As in Genesis, after God made Eve, He then brought her to Adam. (Gen 2:21-22)  If you want God to do this for you then have to be in the right place.  You can only be in the right place if you know where he wants you to be.  You only know where he wants you to me if you are committed & connected to Him.  Hope that logic makes sense.

Accept Responsibility For Yourself and Others

Once you are married, you will then be accountable to God for the well-being of your household.  You are responsible to ensure that your family is spiritually, emotionally, physically healthy.  There is a huge responsibility put on you to initiate things to happen in your household.  You cannot look to your wife to do the things that you are responsible for.  I’ll outline those things in a future article.

Kill Selfishness

I think this one is self-explanatory bit I’ll break it down for you.  You can’t be in a relationship and it be only about you.  If you think that your wife’s only purpose is to serve your needs, then you are totally wrong and misinformed.  If you believe this, you are due for a rude awaking. You have to be selfless and think on how you can be a blessing to the other person.  I would suggest reading the 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapmin.  This books makes it easy to understand how to communicate with your spouse in a way to they would receive it.  Relationships are all about sacrifice.  What are you willing to give up for the sake of your wife.

Find Yourself (Spiritual Identity)

This point is closely related to the first step mentioned above (Personal Relationship with God)  The reason why you need to find yourself is because you will be able to see who you are compatible with.  This is both on the spiritual and practical side of things.  Knowing your spiritual calling is extremely important.  If you calling is to be part of the worship ministry, overseas missions team, or to preach, each one of those callings come with their own “baggage”.  Example a missionary would have to do a lot of travelling.  If you are with someone who doesn’t like to travel you can see how this would put a strain on the relationship.  Both you and your spouse should enjoy doing certain things together.

Establish Yourself Financially

This one is simple.  Life cost money. Not only should you be able to support yourself, but you have to be able to support your spouse. This is a big one. Especially if you decide to have children.  When your wife is on maternity leave you have to be able to shoulder the financial responsibility.  I’m not saying that you should be making more money than your wife.  What I am saying is that you should be strategic with planning your finances and always ensure that you can provide financial security for your household.  Try to create multiple streams of income sources so all your eggs are not all in one basket.

Develop Self-discipline

Saying ‘no’ to yourself is extremely important.  You may find yourself in situations where you have to say no to something for the greater good of your spouse/family.  It is an important skill that needs to be developed before you are even in a relationship.

These are just a few of the areas that I believe need to be developed in every young man’s life before they start to peruse any young lady for marriage.  This list can probably be larger. Please feel free to add your comments.  Let me know if you disagree with anything that I mentioned above.  But the ball is in your court.  Don’t make any more excuses… only you can make it happen for yourself.

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Be blessed!