Next Level in your Relationship
One of the greatest resources related to relationships that I’ve read is called “The Five Live Language”
The principle behind this book is that you can speak to your spouse in the way that they receive the different forms of love.
For those who haven’t read the book, there are 5 primary love languages.
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
- Words of Affirmation
- Giving Gifts
The author of this book has broken all the different forms of love into these five areas. All the different ways that we can show love to each other falls within one those five love languages.
What I’m challenging all married couples to do this year is to be proactive about speaking their spouses love language. Don’t wait until valentines day, an anniversary or birthday. Rather be proactive and show your spouse love by speaking their love language every day. And men, the bible says “We love Him because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:9. This is talking about Jesus loving his Bride, the church (us) so men, you are the initiators. You have to take the first step.
Here are some example of how to apply each of the Five Love Languages.
1. Acts of Service
Offer to do something for your spouse that he/she would normally do. Example, if your wife usually cooks dinner every day, step in to do it for her. Or you can go pick up your wife’s dry cleaning for her so she doesn’t have to. Galatians 5:13b says: “serve one another humbly in love.” (NIV)
2. Quality Time
Life is filled with important things on our to-do list. If you don’t place some time in your schedule for your spouse then you are missing the mark If this is her love language. Examples of quality time are: Spending an evening with each other watching a movie. (No phones, kids or other interruptions). Going out somewhere where the two of you can just be together and do something that you both enjoy. Example, the local coffee shop and sit and talk for how ever long you need. Go for a night out to see a movie and have dinner.
3. Physical Touch
This includes sex but is much more than that. Hugs, kisses and pats on the back go a long way for someone whose love language is physical touch. Simply holding hands may even help to make your spouse feel loved.
4. Words of Affirmation
Take the time off to reflect on something about your spouse. Don’t assume that they know what you are thinking. If they have done something that is amazing, let them know. If you see their sacrifice towards the family day that you appreciate all that they do for the household. Words of Affirmation have to be spoken. Words don’t cost you any money and they are worth millions to the person who has this as their primary love language.
5. Giving Gifts
This one is probably the easiest and most common love language that people try to speak towards their spouse. What can make it more impactful is when the gifts given are not expected. Surprise gifts to people whose love language is Gifts make them feel valued and special.
Remember, when you speak any of these love languages to your spouse that they all require sacrifice. To love anyone will require sacrifice. Your primary love language may be quality time and it may be easy for your to give that to your spouse. However if your spouses love language is words of affirmation then that is the best way to communicate your love that she will receive it. Learn how to speak your spouses love language and be proactive about it this year.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts in the comments. Please share this post with your spouse or if you have a friend that needs to hear it. Also remember to subscribe.